Listen – Do You Want to Know a Secret? – Do You Promise Not to Tell? – David Aiken and David Moran are Drug Cheats

Listen. Do you want to know a secret? Do you promise not to tell? Elevated muscle enzymes levels are a sign of muscle disease. It is usually (but not always) aligned with autoimmune muscle disease (AMD). AMD occurs when the immune system starts not recognizing the muscle as its own, so it starts attacking it […]

Druggies Always Fly as One – That One Being Themselves – Kenny Rogers Throws a Positive to Ice Again – This Time it’s Sayonara Senor

Ken Rogers is a damned good harness race driver. It’s a shame that he’s just such a fucked up fool. I have nothing against drug addicts. Some of my best friends rely on gear to keep them going. But they go good, and don’t think that bashing women is funny. No man does. Kenny Rogers […]

Cats Only Have Nine Lives – The Sheep Drench is Out of Stock – Dibaba Goes Down – And Turbo Cops Ten Overs Filled With Underarm Balls

The world’s most reinvigorated and reinvented pacer Dibaba was looking for her tenth win in a row since moving to the Turbo Trainor barn last night at Penrith, but with sheep dip so in demand that the shelves have been stripped bare it was not to be. Turbo almost pulled off the magic ten picket […]

The Peter Profit Mail is the Best in Town – Now, Do You Wanna Buy a Pair of Sheep Dip Filled Bulla Thickened Cream Earrings? – They’re All the Go This Season

Well, here you are. Turbo’s thrown a positive to the steroid levamisole, aka banned in horses sheep dip/drench (as opposed to a milkshake drench – I prefer to sip mine myself). Not personally swabbed up[ – that’s still to come, and it ain’t roids – but his horse has thrown one. Chubby Checker to be […]

Ellmer Hasn’t Hoofed It – His Owner and Trainer are Just Otherwise Detained – But Where the Hell Has Coward Kenny Disappeared To?

I guess it is no surprise to learn that Ellmer’s Hoofing It has been scratched from race 4 at Globe Derby tonight. Ellmer’s owner and trainer have a bit on their plate at the moment, although not much in their bowl. Dennis that is scratched from Race 5’s connections are in the same boat. Oh, […]

Jumping Jase Treats the Penrith Punters to a Taste of His Genius – It’s Official – He’s a 50m Better Trainer Than Kerry Ann Morris

https://www-harness-org-au.akamaized.net/nsw/PEC08042103.mp4 There is no man in the world training better than Jumping Jason Grimson at the moment. Or getting better results anyway. Jumping says its his genius, cynics say its the gear, the rainforest lawyers say don’t offer any more opinions on the matter, so I won’t. We will just stick to the facts. Kerry […]

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