Chips Blows His Horn and Declares Mr Brightside a Certainty

These Hayes boys are Adelaide bred, which makes a man lack confidence, so when Hayes J.D. says he ‘thinks’ Mr Brightside can win the Underwood, just ignore him.

Anyone who stands up to sing God Save the Queen and wears a top hat at Ascot lacks confidence, it’s clear.

Any Australian who believes in themselves only stands up for the anthem, a raucous rendition of Aussie Oi, a minutes silence, his team kicking a goal or scoring a try, or a fist pump and hi five when their horse wins a Group 1, or a certain style of sex in between races or at half time. And for women on buses.

Forget thinking that Mr B can win, He WILL win, because Chips says so.

Chips of course is Michelangelo Andreadis, the 17.5% share  owner of Mr Brightside, best cricket coach, manager and club man in Melbourne, and November’s coming Cleo centrefold posing naked with the Cox Plate covering his face, and the Underwood trophy over the old fella, for the sake of modesty and so he doesn’t shock the old ladies in the waiting room with the enormity of it.

I spoke to Andreadis at length this evening about J.D.’s can win comment, and set him straight, telling him that if I played for Footscray – aka the Western Bulldogs – my confidence would be shot too, and not to worry about it because Mr Hayes is clearly half mad, just like these clowns who are claiming that a horse named after an AC-DC song can beat him in the ‘Wood.

What will they be saying next, that Geelong can beat the Swans?

Or that Zaaki is a danger?


JD’s might win thing reminds me of the sort of people who put AFL Grand Finals on a Saturday.


PVL doesn’t allow footy extravaganzas to bump Group 1 racing to a Sunday. What do you think he is, a fool? He makes the footy move to the Sabbath so we can watch and bet on the races, not the other way around. It’s sacrilege, and being a soft sock.

Chips says Zaaki and Thunderstruck can go and eat cake, and that the Alligator can kiss his bony arse.

Mr Brightside gaps them to win by four length running away is his tip, declared with conviction. He’s a moral, a bird, a living, a cert, a good thing, and the bet of the year, Chips shouts down the phone. Horse of the year in waiting, Timeform champion, Hall of Famer, and probably the next Prime Minister as well.

Mick the Greek is the best judge of race form in the world. Probably one of the richest too. Let me tell you, he didn’t become the modern day Midas by fluke.

If Chips declares Mr Brightside the winner, it wins.

We are Australians, we don’t run second.

Silver’s for Adelaide people and poms.

And we aren’t English, and we don’t bathe in the Torrens.

Chips has thrown out the tip.

Get on, and go hard.

Editors note – Well Chips didn’t really say it, because we were playing phone tag and kept missing each other, but as his unofficial spokesperson I read his mind. Mainly so I could use this photo of him that his mate from cricket sent me.

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