Alliteration is a stylistic device employed by writers and poets to press a point.
I just used it.
It’s when you string words together with the same consonant to make a machine gun sort of sound when you read it.
See, I did it again, twice.
Poets to press a point.
Make a machine gun sort of sound.
Experienced and clever writers like me who write poetry too do it at both ends of words
Poets Press Point.
Sort Sound.
Why am I giving you a writing lesson?
Because I want to take the piss out of my least favourite trot writer Bonno to keep myself amused while I wait for a few race replays to download , and to do so I need you to understand alliteration.
Did you pick up the reverse swing one there and the sneaky flipper?
Least Favourite – the t-t-t is at the end instead of the beginning.
Understand Alliteration – I did it using different vowels, which is actually assonance rather than alliteration, but it is a similar thing.
Now lets read Bonno and count the cards.
I suggest to you that he has gone a bit overboard, which of course will (boom boom) be no surprise to anyone but strangers (oops, I did it again).
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GLAMOUR and racing are as immutably inseparable as love and marriage.
At their core, all three codes of racing survive and thrive on a brilliant brand of razzamatazz religion, a mystical mythology only known to those that serve at their altar.
Often, this magical mystery tour transcends practical pragmatics.
Sometimes to racing’s benefit.
Occasionally to its detriment.
Tonight, fearsome front-runner King Of Swing seems logically likely to rewrite history by winning his third Miracle Mile.
For those that fail to comprehend the magnitude of this achievement – should it materialise – here is the list of two-time ‘Mile’ victors.
Village Kid, Westburn Grant, Chokin, Holmes DG, Sokyola, Be Good Johnny and Smoken Up.
Superstars all.
Rationally speaking, the concept of usurping names of this magnitude should assure King Of Swing legend status in the modern era.
Throw in his two Hunter Cup wins and a Blacks A Fake success as Messermeister steak knives (apparently, they’re very good steak knives) and this horse they call ‘The King’ completes a truly ravishing resume.
The question remains, however, will he be remembered in the manner that he should?
Without question, the standardbred media has often betrayed King Of Swing, and the person penning this piece has been the worst offender.’
Sure, his Grand Circuit successes have mostly materialised from advantageous alleys and front-end domination.
But who cares?
He may lack the brutality of Blacks A Fake, the brilliance of Im Themightyquinn or the stamina of Lazarus.
In real world terms, none of this means much.
What matters is winning, in the biggest races, on the biggest stages, with the greatest prizes on offer.
King Of Swing has done that, time and time again.
Belinda McCarthy’s statuesque stallion hasn’t saluted yet of course.
Among his potential assassins in tonight’s $1 million Miracle Mile are stablemate Spirit Of St Louis – drawn to silently stalk him in transit – and bottomless Victorian wrecking ball Bondi Lockdown.
They too bring radical narratives to Australia’s richest pace.
If, however, King Of Swing does as most expect, and leads southern hemisphere standardbred racing’s most savage speed test from pillar-to-post, let’s forget the glamour and the heroes of the past.
Let’s instead enjoy the legend that we have right now.
We probably won’t have him for long.
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33 alliterations in just 30 lines.
I do believe that Jason Bonnington has just obliterated the all-time alliteration writing record for Bong Bong and beyond.
Boom-boom.
PS – Can anyone actually follow the thread of Bonno’s blusters and baffle? If so, please explain.