Bundy Billy Comes Down to the Smoke and Pulls Down the City Boys Pants – Archie and Shifty Al Are Most Impressed, and Invite Billy Out on the Disco Floor For a Boogie – Get Down Baby – It’s Time to do the Alligator Dance!


Race 1 at Eagle Farm yesterday.

QTIS 3YO Handicap, 1500 metres, entries open to all comers of the age.

It’s been raining all week, and at closing of noms there are bugger all entered for the race, so Racing Queensland extends the noms.

They close the second time and there are seven.

Two drop out at acceptance time leaving five, the exact number you need to form a field.

On race morning, one of the bottom weights Borlotti drops out, which is understandable, given that it is a sprinter by Spill the Beans who has raced since 20 April and has never been over more ground than 1200, and hasn’t run for three months, and couldn’t get 1500m down a well, wet dry desert or snow, and would probably collapse at the furlong mark if it tried the task first up.

The only mystery why Coffs Harbour based trainer Paul Smith ever entered the horse at all, and who slipped him the cash for the nom fee.

That leaves four.

Billy Melvin from uptown Bundaberg, down at the Paris end, has whacked his horse Daxci Delivers in late on spec, and with the field falling away he’s got a run.

The  top three in the market’s form reads like this:

Apache Haze is the fave at $1.80

Three starts, all at Eagle Farm.

A win and two fourths, one of them behind Tumbler Ridge.

A good class youngster, the price is right.

Igor’s the second fave at $2.70.

Three starts for a win at the Gold Coast, second there, and a third in a Saturday metro at Ipswich.


Not quite up to Aquis standards, but good enough for most of us.

Treasure Gold.


Two wins at Toowoomba, a 4th there, and a last start second in the same Ipswich 1666m metro that Igor ran third in.

The gene pool is skinny thanks to the Whirlwind and Pins – Racing Qld Chair Steve Wilson and his CEO Brendan Parnell – stuffed up the program and got a stiff mid five-figure pay rise for it, or Parnell did at least, at the same time he was putting some of the staff on Jobkeeper.

Good on ya mate, you’re worth every cent of the half-mil plus p.a, no matter what that bloke from the rainforest via Geebung who gets right up your nose might say.

You are BP!

Just ask my mate Bernie. They reckon he’s got some inside mail. Or something like that.

Back to Eagle Farm where the real action happens, and then there were four, and the last one of them is Bundy Billy’s boy Daxci Delivers.

9 starts for 1 very early in his career 3rd on a slow day at Ooralea Park, just over the big road from Sound of Silence head to head tipping comp runner-up in a field of two Downtown’s joint.

Beaten an average of ten lengths per in his past 6 starts at Rocky and Mackay.

A million to one.

The bookies rip off the mugs at 33’s.

They finish in market order.

The margins are 2.5 lengths, eleven, and twenty four.

Treasure Creek keeps up til they start cantering at just over even pace at the 200 pole, then falls in a hole.

Daxci only makes it to the straight.

The minute they hit it he starts blowing like a tuba, and a second later can’t lift his legs.

Bundy Billy lifted $3500 for running fourth of four, and good on him too, because it was his biggest earn since Warners Landing won at Nanango in February, and a real sharp thinking one too. A man’s got to do what a man’s got a do to stay in the game when he’s not flying, and Billy had the brains to do it.

It’s not cheating.

It’s intellect.

Michael Nolan’s got it too, that’s how he pinched $10 850 just for beating Billy’s crawler home into third.

It’s not the trainer’s fault if the Pins and his race schedulers are hopeless at it is it?

Ours is not to question why, just to do and try.

To do the best we can.

Bundy Billy has.

Good onya mate, top work, and I mean it.

Can’t let these city boys have the not, even though they want it.

Those infield boys missed out on an easy $15 grand between two of them there, didn’t they?

What would you expect from people silly enough to work in a flood pit 10 below sea level?

The bloody big smoke Stewards had the hide to ban DBilly’s Daxcie from starting again in the city again until it establishes satisfactory provincial form.

Can anyone point me in the direction of the definition of satisfactory provincial form, because I can’t find it. I can’t see it in any of the policies, standards or procedures either, or on any of the registration forms or any of those other pieces of paper that the QRIC don’t give you when you get a license.

I can’t see it the Stewards Report, or on any of the papers these hardliners with demands gave Bundy Billy either.

Maybe its a bit like the optional/non-optional disqualification rule they applied to the Alligator’s stored or not stored swab sample too. Optional.

Oh, on that topic, do you know what the opposite of a stored sample is? According to the dictionary?

A sample that is wasted, squandered or thrown away.

They wouldn’t chuck out the Alligator’s swab after they’d just taken it, would they?

Nah, they’d store it in a secure bag and take it back to the lab.

Wouldn’t they?

Store it I mean.

Hey Bundy Bill!

We might be onto something here.

You keep entering the horse in races that need noms.

They will keep refusing you.

I will whack in an internal review.

They’ll knock it back.

I will go to QCAT and get us an injunction and a stay.

They’ll have to pay us at least the minimum placed prize money in every race that they wouldn’t let us enter where last would have earned us some.

We’ll earn more in three months that you have in a year, and me in two.

I’m up for it.

Waddya reckon?

I might even give Shifty Al a ring and see if he can sling us a lawyer. Oh sorry, no, whether the trust fund can. I reckon we’re better than evens.

I’m in.




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