MEMO FROM THE TURF DESK
TO: The Racing Participants of Queensland
Friends, I have startling news.
They actually make jockeys serve suspensions in Sydney and Melbourne.
Those riders down there knock someone over and get a lag on the bench, and they actually have to go and sit on the bench. They can’t just run down to QCAT and get stays for Africa and stack them up until the day they leave for their three week lion hunting safari in Kenya, then withdraw their appeals on the way to the airport.
Down in Melbourne if they do the crime, they have to do the time.
Hand on heart, I swear.
Mark Zahra copped 12 meetings at Flemington today just for knocking half the field down, and not only are the wretched Melbourne Stewards making him start it straight away, but they are also making the poor bugger serve the 12 in the sin bin on top of the 7 that he copped under the damn whip rule during the week.
Concurrent! Can you believe it?
The bastards are also making Jordan Childs and Jamie Kah serve 10 day suspensions, and poor little Samuel Payne too.
Bloody hell, all he did was give it to his mount with the stick 11 times before the 100.
Our man Robbie Fradd the Cad persuaded Tyzone to win the Straddie with 16 good old fashioned full-strength tickles (light beer is for pussies, and so are little baby slaps to horses – if you are going to do it, do it hard, like a real Queenslander, like Mick!), and all he got was a $500 bluey, which when you consider the totality of the circumstances such as the race’s Group 1 status, and the big prizemoney, and that it hurt and worked, and the other jocks didn’t cheat, is a pretty reasonable ping by any decent person’s standards.
If you had the time to pause for a moment from belting your kids senseless with a stick to spur them to learn the times table faster, I’m sure that you’d agree.
Suspensions for breaking the rules by hurting animals or putting other human beings at risk of death or injury having to be served when they’re handed down, rather than just being put on the shelf until you’re having a break and going on holiday?
It’s the thin edge of the wedge this sort of nonsense.
The next thing you know they will be issuing fines or suspensions for every little breach of the whip rule, and claiming that rules are meant to be obeyed.
What the hell is the world coming to?
Thank God Big Anna closed the border.
We don’t need that type up here.
No wonder Wade Hadley migrated north after that silly sheila took his dick pick texts the wrong way.
Who’d want to hang around with hangman like them?
PS – I wonder how he got here, given that the border was closed?