Bits and Pieces From Around the Tracks – There are Some Good Ones in it Too


Why, when the committee members of the Bernborough Club were talking about football players during their recent meeting at a well-known Brisbane restaurant, did they on several occasions refer to players of Indigenous or Polynesian heritage as ‘darkies’.

Why, when discussing the issue of their concerns about the ageing demographic of their membership, did these dinosaurs that run the Bernborough Club come up with the solution of inviting a semi-retired teacher 60 year old teacher from Warwick to join the committee, or if he was not available a 64 year old insurance bloke from Gayndah?

Do they really think their idea of inviting Peter V’Landys to speak at their next lunch is really going to be a goer, and that PVL will find time in his diary to speak to a bunch of misogynist racists?

Or that their second string selection Bruce McAvaney will?

Why don’t they just invite Pins (Brendan Parnell) or the Bantam (David Fowler)?

And why are the members men?

Aren’t there any women in Queensland who like racing?

I wonder the club has any members who have brown or black coloured skin?

How does someone already gorgeous like Francesca Cumani become even more beautiful with age?

Can the BRC be serious asking its members to pay a full year’s subscription fees by the 1st of August, when no member has been allowed to attend the track for 3 months?

How many more horses have left the Edmonds stable this week?



Can anyone believe that the bookies bet evens about Stradivarius in the Ascot Gold Cup last night?

How much more than the margin of ten lengths could the world’s greatest stayer have won by if Frankie Dettori had fully extended him?

Did you Frankie twirling the whip in delightful circles and twisting it in the air as he posed for the cameras and celebrated over the last half furlong?

Wasn’t the great man’s signature star jump dismount just sensational?

Has there ever been a better European jockey than Dettori?

Even with no spectators, how good is Royal Ascot?

After watching that, how could anyone not love racing?

But wouldn’t giving the winning horse a big drink straight after the race, before it had been swabbed, risk contaminating the sample?

Did anyone test the bucket to make sure that it was just water?


Is it true that the FBI have handed over the details – including the intercepted call recording and online messages – of the Australian customers of the US suppliers of the go fast gear they were selling to the near 50 leading harness and gallops figures that were arrested in mass police raids across America earlier this year, and charged with offences that are likely to see most of them eating a few Thanksgiving day dinners in the can?

Has a joint Australian Federal/State police taskforce been listening in on the calls to and from customers of the Australian end, monitoring their online activity and messages, and in some cases following them around 24 hours a day?

Does one of the Aussie end live about an hour north of Brisbane, and hold the distribution rights (legally or otherwise) to a certain type of radiant device or machine that is an essential complement to the illegal micro-dose doping of horses?

Has that person’s ear been burning over the past month, or suffered that shiver down your back feeling you get when it feels like there is someone behind you?

Was that Chief Steward Chadwick that eagle eyes have spotted going in an out of a major law firm’s office in recent weeks carrying a file marked ‘Alligator Blood”?

Where’s the David Van Dyke positive swab matter at anyway? It’s been a while, but be assured, it hasn’t gone away, and won’t.

What sort of imbecile pays $120 000 a year for Tom Waterhouse’s Platinum tipping package?


Don’t they ever ask themselves why he became a bookie not a punter?

Or why he sells tips, rather than backing them himself?

Is it any coincidence that Tom’s tips usually firm 2-3 points in every race early in the betting on the race, and often in the majority of cases where the winner isn’t his, that one gets specked around the nation late in the betting?

Who is paying jockey Adam Hyeronimus’ legal fees?

And why?

When certain trainers in certain codes tell you that they are using a certain substance, and less than half of their runners that are swabbed throw up positives, despite all of the certain animals being treated in exactly the same manner, what does it tell you about the Queensland Racing Lab testing procedures?

Does it lend weight to the long whispered rumour that not all swabs are tested?

Could that be why some of Ben Currie’s swabs that were ‘retested’ after a target was drawn on his back threw up previously undetected minute traces of cocaine, when the labs have been testing for coke for a decade?

Can it possibly be true that a senior QRIC vet has a disgusting habit of urinating in swab stalls at race tracks?

Wouldn’t you think the person could walk to the toilet?

Or that pissing in a swab stall might contaminate the area, and thus the samples being taken there?

Are certain members of the QRIC’s Integrity Investigation Team –  whether by accident or design – giving away their locations while on the way to conduct surprise stable and track inspections by checking in on Facebook and publicly advertising their direction of travel?

Have any of these people ever stopped to think that they might be tipping off their targets?

Why would anyone who lived half an hour or so north of Brisbane check in on social media to tell the whole world that they were at the Morven Truck stop the night before a race meeting anyway?

Is the practice still going on by another means?

Or are these last three the world’s greatest rhetorical questions?




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