Dick Pics, Dickheads, and Dashers With Dubious Employment Histories – Hello Queensland, This is Your Life

Bert has got nothing to do with this story, but he did do his arse on the punt

A few hummingbirds tell us that a bloke who quietly resigned from his role at Racing Victoria in an old mates hush-hush deal, after he’d been done for sending a young female apprentice jockey rather lewd text messages, is about to be appointed to rather senior role at the Queensland Racing Integrity Commission.

Our sources are divided on whether the dick pic sender will become a regional Chief Steward – and then split about whether it will be Rocky or Townsville – or whether the scrotum snapper will be stepping into the shoes of Tracey Pelling, the comedian who used to manage the QRIC Integrity Investigations Team.

Both camps tell us that we won’t need to wait long to find out, and suggest that the Polaroid penis jockey is already in Queensland, having entered through the back door after the requisite period of COVID-19 self-isolation, or not, whichever the case may be.

Isn’t that grand?

Just look at the top shelf at our Principal Racing Authorities now.

The Racing Queensland CEO – Tabcorp’s gambling man, with deep connections to Sky.

His Deputy – A bloke under whose watch live baiting was rampant in Victoria.

Their Track Curating King – This one’s no longer relevant. Mick Goodie has left the building, although he’s still on the payroll.

The QRIC Commissioner – A man who tool a bullet for the Blues, but couldn’t beat a sheila from the fire service for the job of State’s top cop, even with the inside run (or so he thought – I wonder if Ross Barnett really believed the story outgoing QPS supremo Ian Stewart told him about why his contract was unexpectedly extended for a year? – if so, more fool him – sucker).

His Deputy – The former Valley Diehards forward formerly in charge of the live baiting inquiry in Queensland, who shot a hundred bullets but didn’t hit too many targets (a tip to my former footy club mate – just because you knock them down Ainus, it doesn’t mean they’re dead).

The QRIC Internal Reviewer  – A former jockey Victorian jockey who once famously got outed for half a season for pulling up a horse.

The Chief Steward – A man that Singapore didn’t want, and slung.

His Deputy – Who?

Who’s Deputy – Are we talking about Neil Boyle now? Don’t bother.

The Racing Minister – Who? A different who.

Everyone Else – Who?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s